Good morning readers,
This morning when my alarm went off, when I tell you it was a war between my body and my brain to get up. I went in and out of sleep for 1 hour after my alarm sounded. How many times can one hit the snooze button? When I came out the shower I did my very best to pick out my clothes (while on that topic, I HATE picking out my clothes early in the morning. It’s entirely too much work for these early hours and takes up too much time) so after I pick out what I felt was a fashionable outfit, I realize my pants are too big. What’s sad is that a little over a month ago they fit me very nicely. I immediately became more self-conscious than I already was, however given the fact that I was going to be late for work if I didn’t leave in the next 10 minutes I had no choice but to leave in those too big hammer pants
What’s the point you’re asking yourself?
Well as humans we all have insecurities, some bigger than others. 1 of mine is when I lose weight to the point where I don’t feel like myself. There are only so many times I can take someone looking at me funny then saying “wow, you look so skinny…. what happened?”. Ouch. How about you trip on a rock in gravel and scrape up your whole leg. No but really though, to me that sucks! If I’m not confident in the way that I look it shows in the way that I dress. The reason for my weight loss stems from stress in my life, when I get overwhelmed with stress my appetite disappears. It’s not something done on purpose, it’s much like those that over-eat once they are stressed. I will never forget a couple years back when I went through a major change in my life and my weight dropped a couple dress sizes. When I say I couple I mean I was a size 9 and size 3 clothes were still a little too big for me. Talk about a ‘fail’. Do not get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being skinny ( not Nicole Ritchie or LiLo skinny) but for my body type and height… it just doesn’t look good on me.
It’s a hard thing to have insecurities and feel less than great about yourself, I mean everyone wants to feel comfortable in their own skin. In 2009 the standard of beauty is at its highest form of superficiality (yea, I’m pretty sure I just made that word up lol). On the tv, internet and in magazines all we see are celebrities living the high life with their fashionable clothes and made up faces. Alot of which end up looking like clones of each other. We get shoved down our throats that THIS is what makes someone beautiful, this is what we as “regular folk” should strive to be. It’s a hard thing to swallow as it’s being force-fed to us. At times it’s hard to differentiate real-life beauty from Celebrity beauty, because lets keep it real, alot of those celebs look jacked without makeup.
I know alot of you are struggling with your own insecurities and I just want to say, don’t let that be your crutch in life. Some of my friends (male and female) primarily struggle with weight gain. I hear alot of “I’m fat” comments and it seems so disheartening, because alot of times I feel it’s extremely over exaggerated. However I understand because again, our minds sometimes allow us to believe something that not everyone else sees/believes. My point through all of these long winded sentences is that we are all beautiful in someones eyes. I think if we all did our best to throw our insecurities to the wind, we would realize that alot of times whatever we THINK isn’t cute really isn’t that serious. Keep your head held high (yes I’m trying to take my own advice) cause you deserve to feel just as fly as you naturally are!
(I apologize in advance if this post doesn’t make sense at points, I’m still tired lol)