Ashton, where are you?

Good Morning

Yesterday was a rough day, slow rough day. There are days that are slow and then there are days that are slow, painful and annoying rolled into one big ugly bow. You guessed it, yesterday was the latter.

Finally when I became free off of the plantation and ready to just cool off. On my way home, I decide to stop at a “mall” and get my Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate. As I stand there sipping the delicious drink, I see a familiar face. Not familiar as in a friend or acquaintance but familiar as in “Ohhh hell, THIS GUY”. So, what do I do? The only thing any other person would do, pretend I don’t see him. That worked for about 2 minutes until he smelled me out like any animal in heat would. You know what, why don’t I just post the dialogue so that you can show your male friends how NOT to approach a female.

Male: Hello there

Neeks: *Look of annoyance* Oh hi there

Male: You’re soo sexy, those lips .

Neeks: Umm, thank you?

Male: What’s your name?

Neeks: Keisha (Hell YEA I have a fake name). I’ve met you before

Male: No you haven’t if you met me before, I’d remember.

Neeks: Buddy, I met you before. You want me to call you out? You have “gangsta” tatted on your neck.

Pause the scene right here.

What self respecting male tattoos “gangsta” on his neck?!? Is this a bloody joke? I swear to you Ashton Kutcher is somewhere watching me.

Male: C’mon you just saw that right now. How old are you?

Neeks: Okay man, whatever. I’m 24 how old are you? What’s your name?

Male: I’m 27. My name is Jason

Neeks: I don’t believe you’re 27, and ewww your name is Jason?

Male: Yes, but you can call me Davonte. Here is my passport if you don’t believe my age

He begins to pull out something from his pocket. Do you know this guy pulled out a tattered Canadian passport for me to look at? Heaven above me, is this you playing a joke on me?

Neeks: Why would I call you Davonte if your name is Jason? Why do you have your passport on you bro?

Davonte: Don’t watch that. Soo do you have a man?

Neeks: Yes, yes I do (I really don’t)

Davonte: Damnnn. Can I get your number so we can be friends?

Neeks: No you cannot

Davonte: Why not? Why can’t we be friends?

Neeks: Because when you looked at me, you didn’t think “Damn that girl can be a good friend”

Davonte: *Smirks* Yea yea, you’re right still. Can I get your number anyways?

Neeks: Are you kidding me? I just told you no.

After about 4 exchanges of this… he finally goes “I don’t care you’re taking my number”

Neeks: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. FINE. Puts number in phone.

Davonte : Are you going to call me?

Neeks: No

Davonte: Why did you take my number then?

Neeks: You told me that you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Davonte: That’s coldddd. Why wouldn’t you call me.. like like just to say hi?

Neeks: Why would I ? I have a boyfriend. Would you want your girlfriend giving out her number all willy nilly?

Davonte: *Smirks* Yea yea you’re right still… but but only you could make your pants come down

Neeks: Oh really? How do girls get raped then?

Davonte: *Shocked face* Whoa whoa, I would NEVER do that.

Neeks: I never said you would but I don’t know you like that.

Davonte: Nah I wouldn’t do that ever.

Neeks: Ummm okay.

You get the point. This went on for a couple more minutes. If you’re thinking why didn’t I walk away? I couldn’t, I was waiting on something. This is not uncommon for females, male approaches with the lamest “pick up” in history to try and get a girls number. The problem is, I think people don’t weigh out their pros and cons before approaching a female. Some are very dilusional, which is extremely sad. At least I got a funny story out of  it I guess.

P.S. Davonte? I mean really?! I remember when all of us females loved names like Davonte because of Jodeci, however that was 10+ years ago. Buddy, upgrade your “game”.


About datchickneeks

I'm a Virgo, I love most things entertainment related. Love PHOTOGRAPHY, and Fashion.

4 responses to “Ashton, where are you?

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Ashton, where are you? « Datchickneeks's Blog --


    “Davonte : Are you going to call me?

    Neeks: No

    Davonte: Why did you take my number then?

    Neeks: You told me that you wouldn’t take no for an answer.

    Davonte: That’s coldddd……”

    Umm… Is he mental??! LMFAO… Neeks, that convo went on far too long my friend. Next time, start twitching or scratch yourself excessively!!!

    …. A gangsta tatt?? Get that guy outta here!! ———————————–>>

  3. Lexx

    “Can I get your number so we can be friends?” Best line i’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing/reading!

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