JOTD: Guts and Balls

Received this in an email and it made me laugh.

Medical Distinction Between Guts and Balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.

We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:

GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’

BALLS – Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the Balls to say: ‘You’re next, Chubby.’

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

Medically speaking there is No difference in the outcome.

Both result in death

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Jersey Shore: Do my eyes deceive me?

This ladies and gentlemen goes to show you what a good makeup artist, stylist and scrubbing can do for the image.

For those of you that watched the crazy cast of The Jersey Shore last season like myself you know that these people looked like the “Italian” version to Trailer Park Trash(those of you that don’t want to admit it, it’s okay I see you lol). This whole cast showed us what can happen when you give a group of people, too many bottles of gel and way too many tans. Somehow it begins to alter the brain matter.

The brilliant magazine that is Harper’s Bazaar has decided to showcase the ladies of The Jersey Shore in what I would call an amazing transformation.

This is them before:

You can just feel the crabs jumping off of them

Here is their May 2010 spread in Harper’s Bazaar:

From Left to Right:  Jenni “J-Woww”, Nicole “Snooki” and Sammi “The Sweetheart”.

Above Left: JWoww wears Marchesa, Snooki wears a Chado Ralph Rucci gown and Sammi’s in J. Mendel
Above Right: Snooki in Pamela Dennis

Above Left: Sammi in a  Marchesa gown)
Above Right: JWoww in Pamela Dennis)

They look A-MAY-ZING! This is why I always say, take pride in your appearance and everyone will take notice in a good way. I’m loving all of these dresses. Excellent styling.

Wowwww April 28th

*Shakes head*

Folks this is what happens when you don’t know how to dress age appropriate.

I give you, Toni Braxton…

What happened?

...and why did it happen?

Toni Braxton is 42 years old and she has NO BUSINESS in this outfit. None. Her kitty kat is printed out for the world to see , not to mention those lace cutouts at the side? Her bum is also sagging. Is this a joke?

 Don’t even get me riled up on that shaved head of hers. I need all of these moms to stop this ASAP! I didn’t like it on Cassie, Lala, Mel B , Toni what made you think we would accept it? Not only was it a bad idea, it looks like you cut it in the dark with shades on. No ma’ammmm no ma’am.

There is nothing wrong with looking sexy at any age, but there is a way to do it age appropriately. This definitely missed that boat by a week.

Pffffttttttt

This is a Public Service Announcement:

If you’re not ready to call someone your girlfriend and really be faithful. Don’t bother.

I’ll re-iterate.

If you have a “girlfriend” and you’re still flirting with anything that has a vagina, DO NOT BOTHER to get into a relationship.

What is the point of getting into a relationship, just to say you’re in one? (A popular topic on this blog). If you have a girlfriend, I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to tell me over and over how sexy you find me and what we can do together. Don’t try to tell me you’re “just joking” either. Spare me.

There are certain things that are within boundaries of healthy flirting. Do not get me wrong, I’m not saying that just because you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t flirt… negative! However if you are in a relationship, telling someone to come over or insinuating how good they would “taste” is crossing major lines. General rule of thumb, if you would go out of your way to keep that from your partner : You probably have no business doing it.

Just Wondering (10)

… Just wondering why I haven’t written in so long?  Well the main reason is, I need a computer (Mac) folks! I have no way of keeping up at home which is quite irritating but that’s life. I love this blog so I haven’t given up on it.

… Just wondering how come people don’t realize that I’ve read their story and I’m just waiting to drop the “tell all”. Keep pushing me, trust me keep it up. When I speak, sometimes I feel like people aren’t really listening to me. As I’ve said before: You smelled the smoke, saw the flame from a distance and heard the sirens… yet somehow you still walked up to the fire and managed to get burned! All the warning signs were there!  I’m not a hard person to get. I’m straight forward in what I say. If I tell you I don’t like the way you’re moving and for some reason you don’t want to listen hear me, that’s YOUR problem. Don’t be mad when I have an attitude or I’m treating you the exact way you were treating me. Think about it.

… Just wondering why it’s so cold today? I’m mad I didn’t realize I’d need my scarf. Oh another tidbit for today? My buckle in the back of my pants that holds it up (it doesn’t have belt loops which I HATE) broke when I sat down this morning. *Insert laugh track*. I had to do some last minute surgery with the help of a coworker. Bad day to wear red underwear I tell ya.

… Just wondering why no one has sent me Chad Ocho Cinco to my doorstep yet. Hurry up folks, I’m not so patiently waiting.

… Just wondering who watched the train wreck that is SNL on Saturday Night that just passed? Gabourey Sidibe (Precious) hosted and it was HORRENDOUS. I only tuned in because Twitter folks got my interests peaked, and I really wished my curiosity didn’t get the Best of Me like Mya (#basicpunchline LOL). In total, I watched about 8 minutes too much and I was not impressed at all. You know when you feel embarrassed for someone on tv? Well yea, that’s what that was. It’s like they had her portray every ghetto Lacriesha girl role that they could think of. Worse yet, she was stumbling all over her words and you can just see the nervousness on her face. Bad look for her, really bad look.

… Just wondering why my aunt felt the need to scar me for life. She saw a picture of someone who I’m attracted to and said “He looks like *insert my cousins name here*”. WTF?! I’m scarred for life, I won’t be able to look at him the same now. I’m not a pervert guys I swear! Well not that kind at least.

… Just wondering why people put up a facade on the internet of who they think they “should” be and what they “should” be doing. The thing is there is always someone who knows you in the real world, so you fronting like you’re God’s Gift to mankind is quite silly. Myself, as well as everyone else would appreciate it if you would cut it right out. Do you need an example? Putting on like you’re such a great man/woman and you know you’re dishonest and doing dirt is STUPID. Putting it out there that you’re making paper 24/7 and you can barely afford a Harvey’s (we know Harvey’s is the higher priced fast food spot lol) combo is STUPID. If that’s not who you are why fake it for a bunch of people you’ve probably never met? Do you at all costs because it’s so much easier.

*Sigh* Take It Slow

Today (well I guess yesterday now) wasn’t a good day by any means *except for the fact that I woke up*. Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

This song makes me smile for different reasons. I like smiling.

That is all.

You know Omarion, well here is his twin brother O’Ryan. This song was underrated by most, but I LOVED this song.

O’Ryan- Take It Slow

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You guys are serious?

Hello Folks,

As you can see from my previous post, Drakes “Over” video dropped today. As I’ve already stated it’s fire. Of course not everyone will feel the same way but sometimes I have to wonder if people really think when watching media content or just tune out after awhile. There are a lot of people saying they do not like it for reasons such as:

  • It makes no sense
  • It has nothing to do with the video
  • It’s boring

 

Wow, this is what we’ve come to huh? If a video isn’t completely literal or doesn’t have cars, boobs and extravagant clothing it’s wack? Why did people go crazy for Kanye Wests “Can’t Tell me Nothing”? That video had “nothing to do with the song” and was just him performing in the desert with lights. (For the record, don’t try and crucify me, as I thought that video was well done as well). If something is not literal “Can you see me, can you see me, get your visine on” *flash to Drake holding Visine in his hand*, People just can’t feel it huh? Or “bout to set it off in this b*tch, Jada Pinkett  *cut to scene of Jada in Set it Off Movie*. Have we really become that basic? The concept made perfect sense to me, I’m so glad he came back strong (since I was NOT a fan of “Best I Ever Had”). Granted sometimes vidoes completely miss the mark when they’re not literal and we’re all left wondering what really occurred, however this video was not a ‘hard’ concept. This generation needs to realize that thinking and being outside the box does not need to always be spaceships and such a la Andre 3000 but could be something as simple as this video or Erykah Badus “Window Seat”.

As I always say you can’t please everyone, it’s physically impossible. There will always be people that don’t believe and that’s okay because that’s just apart of life. However if we took more time to think for ourselves, maybe we’d be better off as a generation.
Just saying…

Yesss Drake! Over Video

I’m real excited about this one.

Toronto’s own Drake dropped the long awaited video from his 1st album “Thank Me Later” and I for one am extremely pleased. The video is brilliant, sheer brilliance. It’s simple, yet really not… you know what? Just Watch!

Yes Drizzy, it really is Over.

HI-LA-RIOUS Sheneneh

This had me in tears, I’m in the mood to laugh and this definitely did the trick.

Martin is a classic tv show and I’m still looking for someone to burn all the seasons for me please (pleeasssseeee someone! I’ll bake you cupcakes 😀 )

For those of you that watched the show, you must have loved Sheneneh too. These are some clips of her, just being her.

JOTD: You’re a Late Ballroom Queen!

Shay this is for you as requested.

Qaadir gives me lifeeeee.  It’s funny cause I’ve had a similar situation happen to me recently. Hilarity.

Per usual, there is a lot of profanity in this video. Watch at your own discretion.