Be

Throughout the time that I’ve had this blog, I’ve talked about many aspects of Love. The highs and lows and ins and outs of it. Looking back (and reading back) I’ve had my share of L’s with Love. When you’re going through it, it seems like it’s the worst thing that could have happened, after awhile you realize it was just to make way for something better. People always asked me why I held out so long and stayed single, I always answered with “getting a boyfriend isn’t hard” and I still stick by my answer. Getting a GOOD one is hard and getting a hard one is quite good (jokes… well not really).

*prays my family isn’t reading this…*

I digress.

I always told myself I was doing it for a reason, I just knew it. Throughout the way, I know people thought the real reasons why I was single were:

 a) I had some kind of issue and Men couldn’t put up with me

 b) I’m picky 

 c) I’m a total Looney Toon.

That’s fine though, people will always have their own opinion but I knew my worth. Losers in life have a special way of making you feel like you’re the problem when really they are. The fact that I now know for sure I wasn’t waiting in vain all this time has me smirking heavily. God has a funny way of placing people in your life at the correct moments. Needless to say my moment came and I was ready, word to Alicia Keys.

It’s a blessing to be matched with your equal, my efforts and everything I do is reciprocated. THAT is a word that has been missing. ReciprocityIt’s one thing to do nice things for someone and have certain feelings for them, but once it’s given back to you? There’s no better feeling.

My friends and family are happy for me, and that makes me feel good. The pouring in of love from some of you has been overwhelming. Thank You. 

To the fake “friends”/acquaintances/Stalkers from a distance  that wish that this doesn’t last, cause you’re as bitter those other members of Destinys Child. You push us to stay stronger. Like how I did that huh? Put “us” to remind you that not only are you bitter, but you’re probably lonely too? *winks*

 To the males that have hit me up with their “Sorry for 2010” a la Ruben Studdard, you’re late as usual.  The fact that you thought I would be around forever is comical at best. Scratch my name off of your never-ending roster, cause I’m a starting player already.

Right now my heart is full and it’s interesting that I never had a “checklist” before but now I’ve realized that he has every.last.check on it.

Funny how that works huh?

❤ 

 

It’s very seldom that you’re blessed to find your equal, still play my part and let you take the lead role, believe me–   BEY!

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Thinking of You…

hmmm

When I saw this above picture I’m pretty sure I made a noise and yelled “yesssss”.  I’ve had this picture for quite sometime and just haven’t gotten the time to blog it, but it’s your lucky day folks cause here it is.

How many times have you seen this? How many songs have you heard about this? I swear to you, I feel like I’m the only person sometimes that waits until my mind is mentally over the last one before I start with the new one. Who is this situation really fair to? It’s not fair to Miss.Jam, look at how happy she is, big ass grin just strolling down the street. However look at Mr. Bread, he looks scared as hell, with the biggest blank face ever. The smirk that Miss. Peanut Butter is giving  is damn near priceless. So again, who really wins in this situation? To me, it’s nobody. Miss. Jam is happy because she has the man but in reality she really doesn’t. What she’s actually doing is wasting valuable time. Mr. Bread is wasting his own time, because really if Jam isn’t doing it why bother? Your mind and your heart are interconnected and if they are both plugged into someone elses mainboard, your system shall surely crash. You thinking you can do a quick hack on it, is just that a quick and easy fix for a problem that needs more attention. Judging by this pic we don’t really know how Miss. Peanut Butter got into this triangle but either she’s the one who broke his heart or he broke hers. Either way, lose mothereffin lose. This stuff happens so often it’s unbelievable, I mean how can you possibly give something a chance to work if you know you’re stuck on another person? It won’t work. So why not cut your losses and keep it moving? Be by yourself until you can truly figure out what you want and then go for it.

Things that make me ponder…

The Pursuit of ‘Happy’ness

Hello Lovers (and the rest of y’all)

Before you try to clock my tea right now, yes I know I’ve written about happiness before but I’m going to do it again if that’s okay. You like that eh? How I asked you like if I would have stopped if someone said no lol.

The Pursuit of Happiness.

Your pursuit on the road to happiness will definitely not be the same as mine or anyone elses. With that being said, why do we invest so much in “checking” with others if it’s okay to be happy within ourselves? Everything we do seems as though we have to okay it with everyone in our lives. The thought of running it by a friend to run it on the “Crazy” or “Sane” scale is cool, however every decision you make does not to be okayed by everyone in your circle. Too often do I see people who are unhappy in their relationship, career, life in general and are afraid to fix it because they care about what others will say. Here is the thing, people will ALWAYS talk and have something to say about whatever it is you do that’s just life. There is a reason why things like TMZ, ET, Inside edition, Access Hollywood, etc etc etc exist. Gossip magazines make money from publishing pictures of Britney Spears eating spaghetti on a damn patio for goodness sakes. Typically one of the tougher decisions that you make in your life, most people will try to persuade you not to do it just because it’s such a big choice. Last time I checked, they’re not living it. If you’re cool on mediocrity that’s on you. There is no way that someone could tell me to stay in a relationship that I’ve been in long-term just because folks will have some mess to say. Girl, bye! If someone had told me to stay with my ex of 3 years that cheated just because I’d laugh at them and call them an idiot. Wait, not “if” that did happen. To make a tough decision in the face of adversity shows a lot about your character. The thought of being unhappy everyday in a loveless relationship just doesn’t make any kind of sense to me. That math was clearly done by Fantasia (shade). Granted no one wants to hurt someone on purpose (well some wretched people do) but for the most part you faking a relationship is just hurting all parties involved. Sometimes no matter how much superglue you put it still falls apart the second you walk out of your house. You’re putting on a song and a dance for people who deep down don’t care about you. The things I hear from some of you is downright foolishness. Acting like we haven’t been freed yet, we’s free people… go.get.yours! Before someone else does…

Pffffttttttt

This is a Public Service Announcement:

If you’re not ready to call someone your girlfriend and really be faithful. Don’t bother.

I’ll re-iterate.

If you have a “girlfriend” and you’re still flirting with anything that has a vagina, DO NOT BOTHER to get into a relationship.

What is the point of getting into a relationship, just to say you’re in one? (A popular topic on this blog). If you have a girlfriend, I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to tell me over and over how sexy you find me and what we can do together. Don’t try to tell me you’re “just joking” either. Spare me.

There are certain things that are within boundaries of healthy flirting. Do not get me wrong, I’m not saying that just because you’re in a relationship you shouldn’t flirt… negative! However if you are in a relationship, telling someone to come over or insinuating how good they would “taste” is crossing major lines. General rule of thumb, if you would go out of your way to keep that from your partner : You probably have no business doing it.

When a Womans Fed Up

When is enough really enough?

How many times can you put yourself and your spirit in harm’s way for the sake of ‘love’. I put love in quotations because sometimes it’s not even real love. Sometimes it’s the idea of it, or changed love.

Folks, if someone keeps showing you time and time again through actions and words that they don’t care about you. Please listen. Why allow them to damage your heart even more than it already is. They’ve proven to you time and time again that they don’t cherish it, so in my books that means they’re not worthy. At one point in time, maybe the love was mutual and shared. Now it isn’t and deep down in your heart, you know this. Yes, it hurts and yes you love that person but is it really worth it? Years of abuse to your heart is not doing you any favors. It’s just making it worse for your mind and soul. You wouldn’t trust a 2-year-old with your iPod because you’re afraid they’ll break it, so why would you trust someone unworthy with something as sacred as your heart? Think about it.

(To my friend that’s going through this right now, yes this was inspired by you. Keep your head held high, you don’t deserve to be treated like you’re insignificant. You’re worth way more than that <3)

Ladies, what?

Good Morning,

Humans are such interesting mammals. It’s amazing all the funny, intelligent and stupid things that we can manage to do. With this post I’m hoping someone can help me figure out a couple things.

Why is it that when females have a boyfriend (or just started talking to a guy) and they know there is a girl that he currently likes or just recently liked is still in the picture they INSIST that he cut the girl off? Logically, if I know that there’s this guy that I like and I have an inclination that he’s still interested in another girl, I’m not even pursuing it. Why? Because I’ll drive myself crazy because I don’t trust him. Chances are if you force a guy to cut out a female that’s heavily in his life, he’s going to:

A) Do it behind your back.

B) Abide for a bit, then do it behind your back.

 C) The female will sniff out your insecurity and aid him in doing it behind your back.

Think about it ladies, there is a reason that she’s in his life. It may not be good reasons, but there is a reason and if you think you have the upper hand by laying down the law to him- you’re going to get played in the end. Trusttttt meeee. I’ve seen it happen one too many times. So just because you don’t SEE it happening, it probably is… through email, bbm, Facebook, Twitter and the best IN PERSON. Look at how many avenues that is right there. If you don’t trust him, don’t even bother to be with him. You’re setting yourself up for failure and heartbreak.

You Remind Me…

He walks in the room and it’s like the rest of the place is moving in slowwww motion *chopped & screwed* voice.

Somehow I can’t take my eyes off of him, we make eye contact for a bit then both look away. As the night progresses, I continue to search for him in the sea of people. Something about him is just hot (even though he had a slight Swizz Beatz nose lol). After awhile I turn to my girl Steffie and say “that guy is so sweet”. What does she reply?

…”Get out of here, he looks like *insert my ex’s name here*”

Ouch.

I will admit he had the same complexion and maybe if you looked real quick he somewhat looked like him but for the most part, heck no. Then I started to think “Is she right?”, like I was getting some sort of complex lol. Have you ever really thought of what makes you attracted to someone? Do you tend to go for the same “type” over and over? Well, to answer my own question- No, I don’t. The guys I’ve dated, and been attracted to have all been different for the most part. Different things attract me, which is a good and bad thing I guess. My track record isn’t walking ‘I Am Robot’ clones, nah never that. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why sometimes after I’m over someone I’m left wondering “what the hell was I thinking?”.

(To the butter guy that night at the Hardrock, you are pretty fly. Apply within 😉 )

Will You Be Mine?

Will You Be Mine?

Love Me Forever?

Kiss Me

Sex me… okay maybe not that one lol. However those are all the things we’re bombarded with this time of year.

Valentines Day 

 

Some of you either smiled or went “ugghhh’. Personally I’m more on the ‘ugghhh’ side of it all. It’s not just because I’m a single female, because when I was in a relationship I felt the same way. If you love someone it shouldn’t take 1 day out of the year to show them. Typically we let others dictate how we celebrate our relationships. The mass media says that red/pink and hearts are what we need to say I love you. A Red/pink “Valentines Edition” iPod is an excellent way to say I love you. *insert eye roll*. How come grocery stores aren’t having Valentines day sales so we can cook something for the one that we love? Why must it be something so cliche all the time? Candy, Chocolate, Teddy bears… that says “I love you”?

 Foolishness.

Do something nice for people that you love on the day to day and I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. For those that only take the time to show they care on 1 day of the year, wait sorry 2 days (I forgot birthdays) you have to see something wrong in that. For those of you that will be celebrating with your partner, try to get creative.  The standard stuff becomes so played out all the time. You don’t have to go all out and get a room in Niagara Falls to show how you really care, just thoughtful “I think about you more than you know” type of stuff. If you have a crush on someone, doing something sweet for them doesn’t hurt either. My advice, don’t get corny and go overboard. Sending 2 dozen roses with balloons and teddy bears doesn’t show love, it shows that an employee knew how to hustle you really good lol.

 

Love shouldn’t be so contrived and forced. Do not feel forced to do something sweet for your significant other because that’s what people are telling you should do. Everything is that much sweeter when it comes from the heart.

Double Standard (3)

Hello There,

Todays Double Standard is another one I’m sure you ladies have heard before.

Here’s the thing, males seem to love lesbians. The minute they think of 2 lesbians + them = Excitement on their behalf. So why is it when a girl is NOT a lesbian and has no interest in women, some males feel the need to force the issue like it’s nothing. This has happened to me on more than 1 occasion mind you. This incident was the toned down one. A couple days ago myself and a male friend of mine (just a friend folks) were having a conversation via bbm about the post I wrote “I was getting some..”. Jokingly he says we should have a fun night with the 2 of us and another girl. At first I laughed it off and said “no thanks, I don’t do girls”…. his response… “Don’t worry you soon will”. Of course I had to hit him back and said “how about we make it me + you and another guy?”. Of course I knew what his response would be, “I’m not gay“.

Wait…

So I am?!

 

It’s amazing the way some males think. For some odd reason they think it’s simple for a woman to experiment with girls but they would never entertain the idea of experimenting with other males. Just because there are DVDs like “Girls Gone Wild” and “The Girls Next Door” does not mean this girl is going to go wild with another female. I’m good, thanks though. I’m glad you like vagina and you were willing to share the concept with me, however I’ll pass- I have my own 😉

 

 

I was gettin’ some…

Good Morning my peoples,

I’m just going to warn you from now, todays topic is for Grown Folks only.

For the most part, I’ve pretty much stayed away from writing about sex and all things sex related, which has been extremely hard for me. One of my fav. Twitter followers though convinced me I should get it in (no pun intended there lol).  The consensus among most sane normal folks is that getting head aka going down on someone aka cunningulus or fellatio is pretty damn amazing. *Sigh*. Maybe I should clarify though, it’s amazing when done correctly.

This is the year 2010, so I think it’s my duty to put out a P.S.A (Public Service Announcement) to all of you men and women of the world. If you don’t give head because you think it’s nasty, you have no business having sex in the first place. Theres a big difference though, there are some that do it (male or female) and they’ll never admit it because they’re afraid of what others will say and there are those that have never tried it because they are afraid of others will say. Either way, who gives a damn about them?! If you’re about pleasing your partner, you’re going to do what’s necessary. As I write all of this I know there are some of you that are probably completely shocked or turned off by me… that’s fine, I’m just going to keep it 100 with you. There are so many different avenues of sex that should be explored. No one likes a boring partner, noooooobody!

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, fellas get your tongue game up. I’m sick and tired of some of y’all frontin like you don’t enjoy the delicacies below the belt. Some of y’all are so ready and eager but you wouldn’t dare let your boys know you do. I mean why? You put your mouth on much dirtier things (cigarettes, blunts, sometimes peoples facial lips are dirty) I mean really?! For those of you that are man enough to admit it. KUDOS to you! I love a man who can confess he gives head and even better ENJOYS it. #turnon. I’m towelling off a bit just thinking about it. Now to my dudes reading this just going down there is step 1 but really knowing what you’re doing is something all in its own. The 2 conversations I had with my male friends regarding this really showed me how different minds think. The seasoned vet explained to me his technique and just that alone, had me *ahem* intrigued to say the least. The depths of how far he takes it was pretty awesome. The 2nd friend was amazed when I told him that there is a little more to it than just “licking the box”. You have to “eat it like you mean it” (thanks guy #1 for that term lol). There is nothing more mood busting than someone that’s just doing it just because they think they have to. If you’re going to head downtown make sure you have your day pass ready to go and come (pun intended). If you’re not familiar with a womans clitoris, get acquainted very quickly. Treat the body as a canvas and paint your portrait very carefully and with purpose. Owwwwwww. There is so much to be explored, it’s crazy!

To my ladies (don’t roll your eyes at me right now) same thing applies, if you’re going to give head don’t do it because he’s forcing you. Do it on your own accord and make it good. The male anatomy is a beautiful thing so treat it as such <– I’m so serious. Do not try to be a porn star and think you have to deep throat it and all that other stuff, take your time and let your partner guide you if it’s your 1st time. Chances are he’ll help you along the way, and do remember you can just tell when he’s enjoying it. Everybody’s body has different indicators to let you know they’re enjoying it, follow it. Be very careful of your teeth as well, for those that have been bitten anywhere on their body before… depending on how hard you’ve been bitten that stuff hurts. I’ve heard many a horror story of  “biters”, so take your time. Just like our anatomy there are many important ‘features’ to a male body. The head (or the tip) is real important. Take your time with it and show its own separate attention. Your tongue is really crucial ladies so use it to your advantage. Switch up the flow and show every inch attention. If you want to have your partner remember you forever, give him some unforgettable head. I haven’t lied to y’all once since starting this blog, so I wouldn’t start now.

Don’t say I didn’t tell y’all!

(I know some of y’all are probably sooooo disgusted with me right now. DAH WELL! I’m grown and you should be too. I censored it a little bit because I could have went sooo much more in-depth. Trust me)