1 Year Later.

*Sigh*

We all remember what we were doing when Pandemonium broke out one year ago today. I was at home when I began to see bbm status updates “Pray for Michael Jackson”. My heart immediately started racing and thoughts of “what happened” began running through my head. That night was a bunch of confusion mixed with scare and prayer.  When the news finally were confirmed that the King of Pop aka Michael Gary Jackson had passed away, I was devastated. As I stated last year when I made my posts about him, you never expected him to be ‘Invincible’ however you expected him to be his ‘Bad’ self until at least his 80’s. The measure of a man should not be realized only in death but in life as well. Michael Jackson was and always will be the greatest of all TIME. Point blank period.

Before I go on and on, I’m going to finish off with a poem. This was written by my longtime friend Maria about Michael Jackson and she was gracious enough to send it to me to post on my blog. Thanks Maria!

Forever Missed, Never Forgotten

(When a tear drop falls in your name,

it is because you are missed)

 

The innocence of your beauty,

purifies the world’s heart.

Your rays of light reflect in our mirrors,

like a shining star.

Your existence overshadows

all negativity on earth,

like an illuminating light

that hovers over the moon

during a solar Eclipse.

Where there is darkness and loneliness,

we are cured with your endless love.

No shape, color or size,

can escape your overwhelming kindness.

The earth’s blue waters and green lands

shine brighter within the universe

from having your magical feet

and selfless hands touch down on them.

Your time spent on our planet

was too short for us to cope with,

but an infinity for what lives on in your name.

Life is short, but yours was a million lifetimes

in half a century.

Your being was larger than life,

louder than words,

faster than light,

and forever remembered.

This world is a better place

because you lived.

You are forever missed

and never forgotten.

 

♥ <R.I.P Michael Jackson> ♥

 

-Maria Iaccheo

Sigh x 16

I wasn’t going to touch this subject but something forced me to.

There are days that have significance due to years past and no matter how hard you try to blur it to the back of your mind, it sits right there engrained in your memory.

16 years ago my father died.

The day plays out like a movie in my head no matter how much I try to forget the feeling. Do not get me twisted for a second, I’m not saying I’m trying to forget my father by any means- NEVER that. It’s just the feeling does not go away, personally I don’t think it ever will. I’m not going to go into great detail or anything, I wasn’t even going to write anything about it today, then something so simple happened. As soon as I got home and turned on the tv, Janet Jackson’s “Together Again” was on. This song was always pretty special to me so I felt it was a little too coincidental.

That’s all really, short and concise. Don’t forget to cherish your loved ones, I’ll continue telling you all that until I meet my father ❤

This song felt like it was written for me…

Reflections

Good Morning,

 

I’m drained and have a stupid headache, not a good combination. Yesterday was a very long day, it was the funeral procession for my grandfather. Death is not something that I handle particularly well, especially not sitting in the front row looking it right in the face. I was nervous, nervous because I had to do a Reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes Chapter 3 Verses 1-8. A little background on me, I’m a good reader however public speaking gets me extremely nervous. Always have been like that, I’ll start reading at a decent pace and then I speed up sometimes forgetting that people have to actually understand what I’m saying. So that coupled with the fact that I was reading at a FUNERAL, I was nervous of not crying or stumbling upon my words. When it was my turn to do the reading, I thought “Breathe Aneka, breathe… read slowly… don’t cry”. As I started reading, it’s as if the words soothed my soul. The words were:

A Time for Everything

1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

 

As I read it, I felt like this was not a time to cry but rather a time to celebrate. My grandfather lived a very fruitful life, he suffered in his last days and he finally was given the oppurtunity to meet our Creator. How could I possibly be sad for that? As the funeral service progressed, it was time for the Preacher to give his sermon. His first statement was, “What you can’t change, don’t let it change you“. I sat there and was instantly enthralled by what he was saying. He stressed the fact that this should not be a time of sadness and a time of rejoicement. The more the preacher laughed and joked I felt as though he somehow had known my grandfather (that was his personality), he seemed so at ease with the words that he was speaking. I’ve never seen such a sermon at a funeral, there was no crying out but rather laughter and chants of  “yes yes” and “Amennnn”.  After the preachers sermon, the steelband player opted to play an upbeat song instead of the usual sombre Church hymn. He played a Calyspo song “One for the road”, people were singing along and tapping  their feet. That is what my grandfather would have wanted, he loved to be center of attention and loved all things Trinidad. His last wish was to be buried in Trinidad with the rest of his family.

 I made a promise to myself that I was not going to wear all dark clothing (despite my moms concerns) and opted for a pale blue top and gray skirt. I don’t believe in those rules anymore where you have to wear all black in order to show your respect.  I consider the act of wearing all black to be very sad and sombre, I strongly believe you should celebrate the fact that the person that passed was in your life and you appreciate them for it.

To all my family, my mom/siblings/niece & nephew/cousins/aunts/uncles/grandparents. I love you for everything. For being there for me from the bucktoothed little kid to the slightly bucktoothed adult. I appreciate you

To my friends, my true ride or die through everything friends, I love you.  You seriously don’t know how much I appreciate you. I don’t have a lot of people I consider to be real friends, so those that I do have I cherish you and you know I’ll fight to the end for you. That’s real

 

When I die I want everyone to try and smile at least, I don’t want everyone to be crying and what not. Play some Beyonce and Jay-Z and have a big party, I’m oh so serious lol.  I think I’m going to go write that in my will right now…

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Love & Demise

So as I was trying to write 3 different posts at the same time, I got some bad news.  It was relayed to me that my Grandfather had passed away. Immediately I started crying and what not. It’s a hard thing when you hear someone has passed away, it’s so final; so forever. Once the tears dried up and the clarity kicked in, somehow I became at peace with it.  I’ve been mentally trying to prepare for this day for quite some time now. I always hoped I wouldn’t be at work or in public when I got the news. Thankfully that never happened. You see my grandfather had a very hard battle with a rare cancer. Have you ever seen someone deteriorate in front of your eyes? It’s not a settling sight.  When you think of what someones life used to be, then what it was reduced to you have a different outlook on death. The pain and the suffering is over. That makes me feel at peace in ways you would never even know.  He wasnt perfect, he wasn’t the greatest person at all times however he’s still my Grandfather and I’ll always love him.

 

Rest in Paradise, kiss my father and may you both continue to watch down on myself and my family.

Love forever, Nikki.

The GREATEST to ever do it.

MJLean

 

I’m writing this through tears… if you know me, or have seen me at a club you know I went HARD for Michael Jackson. My favorite all-time entertainer, the best to ever do it. There is no way that you could deny this mans talent and all that he’s done for every genre of music. 50 years young, another example to add to the list that our lives are not promised. In a couple weeks he was to start a 50 date tour , gone too soon. Ironically enough this is my 50th post.

My sister called me from Trinidad cause she knew what the mood of the house would be. My mom keeps reminiscing of when my siblings used to imitate his moves while watching a VHS tape of him.  This is a sad day for music, a sad day for the world.

As I write this, I have vowed I’m not going to watch the news for the rest of the night. People cannot even let him die in dignity without mentioning FOOLISHNESS. This sucks so bad, I can’t even describe it. I mean no one expected him to live forever but 50 years old? Noooo, not good enough. Not for the pinnacle of my childhood. YES everyone has made a joke or 3 about him, however NO ONE ever denied how great he truly was.

 

 

Here he is singing my favorite song by him “Rock With You”

 

 

What’s your favorite Michael track? Video? Comment, I want to know.

 

Oh the memories! I remember when me and my friends acted out *The Way you Make me Feel* video (I was MJ!),  riding in Renee’s car BANGING out *P.Y.T* , being scared out of my mind watching the Thriller video as a child, to the excitement in highschool when the “You Rock My World Video” premiered and trying to get the stair scene down pat….the memories go on and on.

 

I’m a passionate music lover, always have always will be. This feels like a punch to the stomach. It really does sadden me.

 

R.I.P Michael Joseph Jackson aka The King of Pop. The best to ever do it.

August 29th 1958- June 25th 2009

 I love you, you will be missed and NEVER forgotten.

 

Also R.I.P Farrah Fawcett, a true ‘flygirl’ in her day. It’s a shame your death had to be “overshadowed” by another major loss.

The famous poster. She really was hot!

The famous poster. She really was hot!

I’m out of here, gone to practice my moonwalk…

Always and Forever‏

Today marks a very special day, its my Dad’s birthdate. He would have been 50 years young today. For those that don’t know, my father died when I was the age of 8 going on 9. I don’t speak on it very much because I had/have a lot of repressed feelings as a child. It was always hard when people would ask something about your Dad and you would have to answer with “… My father passed away” and then came the very awkward stare from the other person leading to another awkward moment of silence. As a child, I think I dealt with death in the worst way. Kept Quiet.  In my adult years I’m still trying to master the concept of speaking aloud my feelings, instead of analyzing it in my head a million times. It’s hard at times but I have a few amazing friends that make it a lot easier. The point of this post wasn’t or isn’t to get anyone down, but more so to tell you guys to celebrate someones life in the present as well as in death. Tell your family and friends that you love them, one thing that still haunts me to this day is that my Dad left the house mad at me and I never saw him again. As I’m writing this I feel the tears welling up, but I’ve come to realize that sometimes they have to fall in order to heal. I feel my father’s presence from time to time and that gives me comfort.

 So I’ll blow out my fathers birthday candles today and my wish is that you all tell those around you that you love them today. Simple right? That’s all.

 

Happy Birthday Daddy, love always and forever.